You are viewing jeffstrand

Seriously Whacked
[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]

Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in jeffstrand's LiveJournal:

    [ << Previous 20 ]
    Tuesday, October 19th, 2010
    1:53 pm
    DRACULAS, a novel by F. Paul Wilson, Jack Kilborn (aka J.A. Konrath), Blake Crouch, with me riding in the trunk, is now available from Amazon!

    Non-sparkly vampires that kill, kill, kill! Carnage at a hospital! Blood! Action! Laughs! Teeth! If you want horror that evokes a subtle sense of dread through a sinister drop of dew glistening on a leaf, this is not going to be your favorite novel of the year, but if you want to read about monsters that devour the hell out of their victims, this is the book you need to read immediately.

    It's a crazy-low $2.99, which includes the 80,000 word novel + 80,000 words of bonus content, including deleted scenes, short stories, and lots and lots and lots of e-mails exchanged between the four of us during the writing of the book. (What's F. Paul Wilson like to work with? Is he gracious and charming, or is he all like "Dude, I'm the mighty F. Paul Wilson and you're the lowly Jeff Strand! Put that sentence back the way you found it, bitch!" The answer lies within...)

    Though it's an Amazon exclusive, you do not need a Kindle to read it. Conversion instructions are available at

    Check it out right HERE.
    Monday, August 23rd, 2010
    6:17 pm
    Wolf Hunt!
    I’m refraining from any comments on the current mess at Leisure Books until my own role in the wacky drama is finalized (although the fact that I’m using the word “mess” is probably a clue to my feelings about the situation). But whereas the paperback edition of WOLF HUNT is a sticky web of uncertainty, the super-deluxe hardcover limited edition is in the final stages of production, and available for pre-order NOW!

    It’s a werewolf novel. A really dark, mean-spirited, and funny werewolf novel, about a couple of thugs-for-hire named George and Lou who are paid to drive a guy named Ivan in a cage across Florida. They’re told that he’s a werewolf in human form. (Spoiler: And he is.) Things are going fine until…well, actually things start going crappy even before he escapes, but George and Lou ultimately find themselves going on an action-packed werewolf hunt.

    Carnage. Laughs. Savagery. Explosions. Blood. Dialogue. Wild transformations created by the CGI of your mind.

    Limited to 100 numbered copies and 26 lettered copies. The lettered copies come with a hand-painted Ivan the Werewolf sculpture designed by Frank Wells! How freakin’ cool is that? Order NOW NOW NOW!
    Friday, April 23rd, 2010
    7:01 pm
    The Only DWELLER Signing Event!
    Hey, kids! On Saturday, May 1st, I'll be at the Barnes & Noble Carrollwood. 7:00 to 9:00 PM. 11802 N. Dale Mabry Highway, Tampa, Florida, 33618. 813-962-6446. I’ll be there signing copies of DWELLER (and probably PRESSURE, too, and anything else you want to bring in, even if I didn't write it) along with Ray Wallace (THE NAMELESS).

    It's the only DWELLER signing I have scheduled, so c'mon over!
    Friday, April 2nd, 2010
    11:05 am
    Updates! Updates! Updates!
    I haven't really been updating LiveJournal lately, in favor of centralizing everything at my website, but a lot of you probably think "Screw his website!!!" And since I have a new book out, I figured I'd send this quick summary of all of the awesomeness, near-awesomeness, and blatant mediocrity at

    So...Dweller, my second mass market novel from Leisure Books, is now on the shelves of your local bookstore.

    Famous Monsters of Filmland said: “This book took me back to the days when monster movies were about the story, not flashy CGI effects and gore. You remember those movies where you cheered for the monster to win. Whether it was Frankenstein’s Monster, the Beast from 20,000 Fathoms, the Ymir of 20 Million Miles To Earth, the Creature From The Black Lagoon or King Kong, I always felt for the monster who was put in their predicament by the actions of man. Dweller plays along the same lines and does so with the same visceral impact I felt with those movies of yesteryear. Strand’s writing is better than ever. If you liked Pressure you are going to love Dweller.”

    The Savannah Morning News said: “On the surface just a ‘monster story’, Dweller also operates on a much deeper level. Strand has, in deceptively simple fashion, written a beautiful story which explores the complicated nature of relationships, loyalties, and how one decides who the most important person in their life is. What Strand has accomplished with Dweller is nothing short of amazing, and you owe it to yourself to experience it.”

    The Horror Fiction Review said: “A best bet for any monster enthusiast.”

    In addition to links to the above reviews, my website contains...

    --Information on an exciting contest where you can win a free signed manuscript of my next novel, Wolf Hunt, months before it’s published! (Criminal activity required.)

    --My Diabolical Radio interview, recorded live but now available non-live for your listening convenience!

    --The results of my job co-hosting the latest episode of Dread Media, where we talk about my books, review Return of the Living Dead II, and answer lots of listener questions! There's an extended joke about cheese that doesn't really go anywhere.

    --A Very Special Issue of Dark Recesses Press, with an interview, a short story, and my "Strand Babbles" column.

    --An interview with Canadian novelty music superstar Trevor Strong of The Arrogant Worms, who also did the amazing "Dweller" song that will get stuck into your head and never, ever, ever, ever, ever escape.

    --My attempt to cash in on the mash-up craze by writing Brian Keene’s The Rising (Without Zombies).

    --And even way more stuff than that.

    It's all at

    Though I should probably just figure out how to make my website updates feed over here, which would eliminate the need for dumb posts like this one...
    Wednesday, January 20th, 2010
    12:12 pm
    My Second "Serious" Novel
    After PRESSURE came out, people kept saying "So, Jeff, when are you going to write another serious book?" And I was all like "Soon! Soon!" But then I wrote BENJAMIN'S PARASITE (not serious), THE SEVERED NOSE (not serious), DISPOSAL (not serious), THE SINISTER MR. CORPSE (not serious), and this upcoming book called KUTTER that really blurs the line between funny and not-so-funny.
    But my second official "serious" novel is called DWELLER. It actually has a lot of humor in it, but also a lot of really dark and sad stuff, and I'm officially declaring it to be my second serious novel.  
    The mass market paperback edition will be on bookshelves on March 30 in a handy $7.99 edition from Leisure Books. But if you want the deluxe hardcover edition from Dark Regions Press--limited to a scant 100 copies of the numbered edition and a scanter 26 copies of the lettered edition--the time to pre-order is NOW!
    My website has the cover, synopsis, and ordering links for the hardcover edition, but even better, it has an original DWELLER song by Trevor Strong of The Arrogant Worms, the Canadian musical comedy trio who brought you "Carrot Juice is Murder" and "Rippy the Gator." Even if you don't want my stupid book, you KNOW you want to hear the song!

    Saturday, November 7th, 2009
    7:52 pm
    SURVIVOR: The 12 Best Votes
    Okay, I haven't really been updating LiveJournal lately...but I HAVE been updating my website! And if you're a SURVIVOR geek like me, you'll want to check out my INARGUABLE (unless you feel like arguing) list of the 12 Best Votes (and 2 worst) ever.

    Check it out at 
    Sunday, October 25th, 2009
    7:11 pm
    Gypsies Stole Adrienne's Nose
    At least once a day I think to myself, "Gosh, I'd sure like to see an alluring photograph of Adrienne Jones, author of THE HOAX, GYPSIES STOLE MY TEQUILA, and BRINE, holding a severed nose."

    Today (actually, a couple of days ago, but I was at Necronomicon) my wish came true.
    Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
    8:13 pm
    Interview at Horror Blog
    Tired of all my serious, deep, introspective interviews? Wish I would give a goofy answer once in a while? Here you go: 
    Thursday, September 10th, 2009
    10:07 pm
    Deep Carnivale!
    I've updated my list of appearances on my website for the next couple of months, which includes two more Florida signings for PRESSURE, the Spooky Empire Weekend, and Necronomicon. And, this Saturday, September 12, I'll be at Deep Carnivale: A Celebration of Words in Tampa. 

    It's a completely free event with lots of writers (fiction, non-fiction, and poetry) and musicians on multiple stages. I'll be on the main stage at 3:00 PM, doing a reading from DWELLER. The first-ever reading from DWELLER! If DWELLER, which will be at a bookstore near you April 2010, goes on to become such a gargantuan bestseller that Dan Brown is all like "Alas! Oh, how desperately I wish that I had written DWELLER instead of THE DA VINCI CODE! I feel so forlorn and sorrowful!" you can say "Dude! I heard him do the very first reading from it! (Not necessarily to Dan Brown, although if you're tight with him go right ahead.)

    There are also some workshops, including Sally Bosco teaching you how to write Twitter flash fiction. She may also be reading some smut. Or not. She's reading something. I'll get back to you on the smut level.

    Check it out at
    Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
    7:55 pm
    Andrew Mayhem: German Edition
    The German-language edition of GRAVEROBBERS WANTED (NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY) is now available! Is death by spork still amusing in a foreign tongue? Click here!

    Monday, September 7th, 2009
    11:35 am
    Weekend of Non-Accomplishment

    Having turned in my novel DWELLER to Leisure last week, I decided to spend all of Labor Day weekend goofing off. 

    FRIDAY: Did a movie marathon: DISTRICT 9, INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, THE FINAL DESTINATION 3-D, and ORPHAN. (Yes, I paid for all four of them--I'm too old to deal with the shame of being caught by an usher and kicked out of the theatre.) 

    I looooooooooved DISTRICT 9. My favorite movie this year. Granted, I missed most of the movies that have played this year, but I did see STAR TREK, and I liked DISTRICT 9 even more.

    I also really liked INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, although those endless dialogue scenes border on self-parody (though not to the level of something like DEATH PROOF). 

    Regarding THE FINAL DESTINATION, I realize that complaining that a third sequel to a slasher flick is "derivative" seems kind of silly, but when your movie is so derivative that I walk out of the fourth movie in a slasher series thinking "Jeez, that was derivative," you've got problems. 

    ORPHAN was a solid, creepy flick. Wait a wasn't a remake or a sequel, and it was GOOD, and it made money at the box office? How the hell did that happen???

    SATURDAY: The plan was to continue the movie marathon, but I stayed home and read most of the day instead. How lazy do you have to be not even work up the energy to go to the movies? And why the hell haven't I been reading Chuck Palahniuk all this time? Started the third season of DEXTER.

    SUNDAY: Finished up DEXTER. Great stuff. The season just sorta wound down instead of building to a big finale, but it was vastly superior to the "We waited 12 episodes for THAT?" finale of Season Two. 

    TODAY: My office is a complete disaster. Guess I've got some cleaning to do... 
    Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
    6:45 pm
    Twofer One & Diabolical Interview
    Tonight, I'll be appearing LIVE on Diabolical Radio! Well, okay, my interview was previously recorded, but the show itself is live, and I'm sure they'll leave in all the parts where I said dumb stuff, so it'll be pretty close to the experience of listening to me live. It's on tonight at 11:00 PM. The episode will be archived, if, like me, it's past your bedtime.

    And the Horror Mall is having an astounding two-for-one inventory clearance sale on all in-stock books, only good through Thursday the 3rd! They've got a bunch of my books available, including BENJAMIN'S PARASITE, GLEEFULLY MACABRE TALES, HOW TO RESCUE A DEAD PRINCESS, MANDIBLES, PRESSURE, SINGLE WHITE PSYCHOPATH SEEKS SAME, and even THE SEVERED NOSE! Quick! Get 'em cheap! 
    Monday, August 24th, 2009
    9:51 pm
    KUTTER's Going...Going...
    Only 31 percent of the previously available copies of KUTTER remain! It's almost too late! Don't walk around making sad puppy-dog eyes at everybody because you missed out!
    6:20 pm
    KUTTER Now Available For Pre-Order!
    The super-duper-ultra-limited deluxe collector's edition of KUTTER is now available for pre-order. Demented cover and interior artwork by Tom Moran. They're only makin' 85 of 'em, so it's gonna be one rare frickin' edition. Have at it, investment-savvy folks!

    Charlie Stanlon is a serial killer. A ghastly, vicious sociopath who chains women to a table in his basement and tortures them to death. He has no friends. He has no family. He despises his co-workers. His only pleasure in life is to cause pain and terror.

    Until the day he finds an adorable Boston Terrier and takes it home...
    Thursday, August 20th, 2009
    3:49 pm
    Coming Soon...KUTTER!
      Sometime within the next 24 hours, the collector’s edition of my “serial killer gets a Boston Terrier” novella KUTTER will go up for pre-order from Cargo Cult Press, with the book set to ship this December.

    Now, when I say “collector’s edition,” I frickin’ mean it. The print run is crazy-low (only 85 copies!) and the price is crazy-high (I’m not even going to mention it here—you can see for yourself when pre-orders begin). There’ll be a civilian edition at some point, I promise, but this will be the first edition and my rarest limited edition book, and when the economy swings back and PRESSURE: The Movie makes $850 million domestically at the box office, I think it’ll have been a good investment.

    A little about KUTTER...

    In my novella DISPOSAL, the narrator is an absolute scumbag. Frank is reprehensible, unredeemable, and happy to be that way. It was a lot of fun to write an entire story from his point of view, and plenty of readers commented on how Frank was strangely likable, despite being a complete prick. He's entertaining. He's funny. He's shameless. You wouldn't him to move in with you, but he's charismatic. Similarly, Darren Rust, the villain of my novel PRESSURE, is a horrible, horrible human being, but it's easy to see why he and Alex Fletcher become friends. He's a nice guy, when he's not using his knife...

    With KUTTER, I wanted to challenge myself. Honestly, it's not that hard to make a serial killer into a likable character. But what if he was inarticulate, uncharismatic, and just flat-out pathetic? Charlie Stanlon isn't just the kind of guy who locks women in his basement and tortures them to death--he's the weasel at work who goes straight to the boss when you make a mistake. He's not a villain you love to hate, he's a mopey creep with nothing much to like about him.

    The challenge? Go as far with that character as I could, and then dig him out of the hole, courtesy of an adorable Boston Terrier named Kutter.

    This led to other challenges, because I couldn't dig into my usual bag of tools. Charlie can't speak in witty repartee or one-liners. He doesn't see the world in clever turns of phrase. The book is written in third person, but it's entirely from Charlie's point-of-view, so the use of actual "jokes" was inappropriate. In many ways, KUTTER is the opposite of my usual approach, which is to take an unfunny premise and infuse it with wacky humor. KUTTER takes the silly "serial killer gets a doggie" premise and treats with bleak realism.

    It’s still a dark comedy, but it’s definitely closer to PRESSURE than, say, BENJAMIN’S PARASITE.

    Here’s a partial transcript from the July 30th Diabolical Radio podcast (

    “Very, very dark book...for anyone who’s read PRESSURE, which is his Leisure debut, I’m not gonna say it’s darker than PRESSURE, but it’s pretty close.....It basically shows that even the sickest person has a soft spot for something...The stuff that happens throughout is damn amazing, and Jeff Strand is gonna be a freakin’ Name, like Brian Keene, who starts rising and rising and rising...”

    Right after I finished the book I sent it to some fellow authors for their thoughts. Adrienne Jones, author of BRINE and GYPSIES STOLE MY TEQUILA, said:

    “I can't stop thinking about this now, because I'm realizing that this book is making me more uncomfy than a regular thriller BECAUSE the concept is cute. But this is what you do differently than anyone else--you ease us in with the cuteness, trick us into thinking the character is redeemable, then [spoiler deleted]. When you do your usual humor books, it makes the extremity of it really funny, no question. BUT, although KUTTER is conceptually funny, without your usual rapier wit, this is really some DARK s**t.”

    From Michael McBride, author of BLOODLETTING and REMAINS:

    “It might not be exactly like your past comedies, but as far as dark comedies go, I thought it was excellent. Like I said before, it reminded me of The DARK BACKWARD, which I thought at the time was absolutely brilliant. You maintained the dreary atmosphere throughout and made Charlie into a likeable character. That was no small feat!”

    From Greg Lamberson, author of PERSONAL DEMONS and director of the upcoming motion picture extravaganza SLIME CITY MASSACRE:

    “Hey, KUTTER is reminding me (in a good way) of the original WILLARD. [Different e-mail, after he’s finished it.] As moving a serial killer story as has ever been told. It went off in several directions I didn’t expect.”

    Then I got an e-mail from a reader named Robyn Miles, who loved PRESSURE and had a link to the Humane Society as her signature line. She took me up on my offer to read KUTTER, and said:

    “I read KUTTER this morning. You must be a true animal lover as only somebody who has had a close relationship with an animal could write those words. [Lots of spoilers deleted.] I love the story and it's written extremely well.”

    Keep watching this spot for the official notice when KUTTER goes up for pre-order. If you’re all like “Only 85 copies? What if I miss out? WHAT IF I MISS OUT???” send me an e-mail at and I’ll send you a notice before I even update my website/blog/newsletter. This doesn’t obligate you to order a copy, and I won’t keep bugging you about it.
    Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
    5:54 pm
    Diabolical Kutting
    The episode of Diabolical Radio with my interview hasn't been posted yet, but if you follow this link you can hear great interviews with authors such as Joe Lansdale, Edward Lee, JA Konrath, and of course Greg Lamberson, Sephera Giron, and some other whack-jobs involved with the movie SLIME CITY MASSACRE. 

    And, hey, if you check out the episode with John Saul, there's a review of my not-yet-for-sale book KUTTER. It's an hour and nine minutes into the episode, but don't skip ahead, because that would be inconsiderate and you'll miss a very entertaining interview.
    Monday, August 17th, 2009
    6:21 pm
    SEVERED NOSE On My Doorstep!
    No, not my new book from Morning Star actual severed nose on my doormat!


    Sunday, August 16th, 2009
    11:15 am
    Writers Workshop of Horror
     When you think of people you'd want to take writing advice from, I probably rank somewhere between "That drunken guy urinating in his own coffee mug" and "Nobody--I'll destroy my career on my own, thank you very much." Nevertheless, the new book WRITERS WORKSHOP OF HORROR contains an essay by me on "Adding Humor To Your Horror." 

    You know who else is in this book? Joe R. Lansdale. F. Paul Wilson. Ramsey Campbell. Thomas F. Monteleone. Deborah LeBlanc. Gary A. Braunbeck. Brian Keene. Elizabeth Massie. Tom Piccirilli. Jonathan Maberry. Tim Waggoner. Mort Castle. G. Cameron Fuller. Rick Hautala. Scott Nicholson. Michael A. Arnzen. J.F. Gonzalez. Michael Laimo. Lucy A. Snyder. Lisa Morton. Jack Haringa. Gary Frank. Jason Sizemore. Robert N. Lee. Tim Deal. Brian Yount. Michael Knost. And there's an interview with Clive Barker. I know, I know, you're spazzing out right there in your chair as you read this.

    Fangoria magazine, the issue with Megan Fox as a vampire on the cover,  calls the book "truly inspiring" and says that it packs "more knowledge and sound advice than four years' worth of college courses." 

    And, holy crap, my "Adding Humor To Your Horror" is mentioned as one of three standout essays. Sweeeeet!

    For lots more information and my own special royalties-boosting ordering link, visit:

    Also, THE SEVERED NOSE is in the mail. Is it on its way to YOU???

    Tuesday, August 11th, 2009
    6:52 pm
    Jeff Strand's Taste of Hideous Foulness
    A lot of you read my books and think "He's a way-cool author, but can he cook?"

    The answer is: no. Of course not. Do I LOOK like I can cook? But that didn't stop me from saying "Uh, okay, I guess so" when I was asked to contribute to Writers and Recipes. So follow this link for my recipe for Jeff Strand's Taste of Hideous Foulness. 
    Sunday, August 2nd, 2009
    1:36 pm
    I Need This Like a Hole in the Head...
     I went to the BRAINJACKED premiere last night, which played to an enthusiastic, packed house. They even had to bring in extra seats. I'm not a big fan of the "cinema cafe" experience, but I have to admit that the cream cheese-filled jalapeno poppers were pretty good. 

    The movie itself is a lot of fun. If you object to scenes of large metal drills twirling into people's foreheads, I'm going to politely suggest that this is not a motion picture that you will fully enjoy, and that perhaps you should seek other entertainment options. It's okay. You won't hurt anybody's feelings. The filmmakers are considerate individuals and threw in a sequence before the title even appears that will give you a pretty good indicator of whether or not you're the appropriate BRAINJACKED audience. 

    There's plenty of action, gore, nekkidness...and one doozy of a shock ending. Not a "Goodness gracious, he was a ghost all along!" type of twist that forces you to reevaluate everything that's come before--just a completely unexpected, jaw-dropping moment that (within the context of a movie where people willingly have holes drilled into their skulls) makes perfect sense. Loved it!

    I don't know what the release plans are for BRAINJACKED, but keep your eyes open and your brain exposed..

[ << Previous 20 ]
My Website   About